One of the most frustrating parts of growth is realizing that understanding something does not immediately change your response to it. You know the relationship is over. Yet seeing their name still does something to you. You know the criticism wasn’t true. Yet you still replay it in your head. You know you are safe …
The first mistake is often unavoidable once it’s happened. The second mistake is what we do after we realize the first one was a mistake. Think about it. A bad relationship may be the first mistake. Staying ten years longer because you can’t admit it was a mistake is the second. Choosing the wrong career …
There is something deeply humiliating about becoming emotionally needy after once being emotionally untouchable. You miss the version of yourself that didn’t wait around hoping someone would notice you more. Choose you more. Need you more. Love you louder. Back then, your heart felt guarded but safe. Closed, maybe. A little ruthless, perhaps. But at …
Read more Maybe You Were Easier to Love Before You Started Needing It
One of the quietest heartbreaks of adulthood is looking at the people who raised you and realising they are human. Tired. Aging. Carrying burdens. Trying. And if you are not where you thought you would be in life yet, guilt can begin to eat at you slowly. Especially when they are still helping you. There …
Sometimes I wonder if the people who love the deepest also carry the deepest guilt. Not because they are cruel. Not because they are selfish. But because they are constantly aware. Aware that someone is tired. Aware that life is hard. Aware that the people they love are carrying invisible weight. And so every emotion …
There wasn’t a single moment where you decided to lose yourself. It didn’t happen all at once. It happened slowly. Quietly. In ways that made sense at the time. You noticed what people responded to. What made things easier. What kept the peace. What earned approval. So you adjusted. A little here. A little …
There’s a kind of exhaustion that doesn’t come from doing too much. It comes from not knowing when you’re allowed to stop. You finish one thing… and instead of feeling relief, your mind moves the line. “There’s still more.” “You could do better.” “You’re not done yet.” So you keep going. Not because someone asked …
There’s a version of yourself you don’t talk about. The one who appears when you feel exposed. When you make a mistake. When you disappoint someone. When you fall short of what you believe you should be. That version doesn’t comfort you. It attacks. Not with kindness. Not with perspective. Not with “you tried your …
There’s a particular kind of shame that only capable people understand. It’s the shame of failing when everyone believed you wouldn’t. Failing while they expect more. Because when someone who is “still figuring it out” fails, people nod. They say things like, “Keep going.” “You’re learning.” “That’s part of the process.” But when someone who …
Nobody talks about this part. The part where healing stops being a story. Where it stops being something you can explain at dinner parties. It just becomes… life. Unremarkable life. The same day. Over and over and over. You want to know what healing actually looks like? It’s not the breakdown in your therapist’s office. …
Read more What Nobody Tells You About Healing: It’s Painfully Boring