Empathy is supposed to be a light—something that softens the hard edges of the world. It’s what people praise—what crowns you ‘good.’ But even light can burn. What if it can be something else—something sharper? What if empathy, in the wrong hands, cuts deeper than hate ever could? Dark empathy isn’t loud. It doesn’t scream. …
There’s this thing that happens. When someone hurts you—really hurts you— it’s not always sadness that shows up first. Sometimes, it’s fire. This unbearable urge to lash out. To hurt them the way they hurt you. To shake something. Break something. Say that one thing that will land like a slap. And in that moment, …
Sometimes, it starts so quietly, you don’t even realise what’s happening. You begin adjusting. Toning yourself down. Not to deceive—but to connect. To be liked. To be chosen. To not feel so… alone. You say yes when you mean no. You ignore what hurts. You twist yourself into someone easier to accept. And over time, …
It’s not loud. Not dramatic. It’s just that moment when you’re saying something and they look away. Or change the subject. Or act like you’re taking too long. And you notice. Even if you pretend not to. You feel yourself pull back. You don’t mean to. It just happens. A small part of you shuts …
There are days you want better. You wake up and think, “Okay, let’s try again today.” Maybe it’s something small—like breaking a habit. Or holding a boundary. Or making a choice you know deep down is good for you. But then that moment comes. The actual doing. And suddenly it feels like someone just asked …
There are moments that play back in the mind like a scene someone else acted out. A look. A comment. A tone. A decision that, at the time, felt small—but now feels sharp and out of place. Almost like it came from someone else entirely. But it didn’t. It came from a tired version of …
Sometimes people say they’re “keeping the peace” when really, they’re just hiding the war. They go quiet. They swallow their words. They build walls and call it love. But silence isn’t always healing. Sometimes it’s just a slow erosion. A slow burning. A slow goodbye. We tell ourselves that if we don’t talk about it, …
Guilt doesn’t scream. It just sits there. Heavy. Quiet. Always there. Right in your chest. Right in the back of your mind. Like maybe if you’d said something earlier. Maybe if you’d tried harder. Maybe if you were… better. You keep going over everything. Looking for the moment it slipped. Looking for what you missed. …
You know what you should be doing. What would help. What would move you forward. But you don’t do it. You stall. You scroll. You talk yourself out of it. You cling to what’s familiar, even when it hurts. You say you’ll start tomorrow. Or Monday. Or when you “feel ready.” But you’re never really …
Read more Stubborn Self-Sabotage: When You’re Your Own Worst Enemy
When They Won’t Save Themselves There’s a kind of pain that doesn’t scream. It doesn’t show up with heartbreak or betrayal or some huge loss. It’s quieter. Slower. But just as brutal. It’s the pain of watching someone you care about slowly tear themselves apart—while you stand by, helpless. They’re not clueless. They know what …